Microsoft, Google, Netflix, Amazon and more, are using smart algorithms that leverage ever increasing clock cycles, and a plethora of user generated data, to find patterns that derive value. They've brought smart software to the attention of the software development mainstream: PageRank, Machine Learning, Support Vector Machines, classification techniques, search and rank, and more. We explore some of these algorithms and their implementations using a new functional programming language for the Microsoft .NET platform, called F#. It has features and techniques that make working with data and building smarts much easier. We'll start with a walk through of the language, then get right down to hacking out smart algorithms that you can leverage in your own software.